On a beach in Corfu last week, my boyfriend and I had an argument. One of those huff-inducing, sulk-inciting moments that you’d rather avoid on holiday but (let’s face it) are almost inevitable when you’re sunburnt, sweating profusely and are wallowing in the aftermath of one too many gin and tonics. The spat ballooned out of a daft conversation about what we’d do if either of us came into a large amount of money. This completely hypothetical chat led to thirty minutes of pursed lips, crossed arms and ‘the silent treatment’.

Fast forward to grey and dreary London this Monday morning and I was a little surprised to find that Sandy from Yes I am Cheap had started up exactly the same conversation over on the Yakezie forum (presumably without the same ‘no I will not reapply your sun screen’ fall out). Several bloggers have taken on Sandy’s meme and blogged about what they’d do if they suddenly inherited a million dollars. Inspired by last week’s strops and sulks, you may find my slant on this topic a little different from my fellow PF bloggers. So here’s what I’d do if I suddenly inherited a million pounds from my long lost cousin Bertha…

1. Feel all kinds of guilty

According to this challenge I haven’t seen my long lost cousin since I was a baby. In twenty three years I hadn’t clapped eyes on this woman and now she’s shown me some seriously undue generosity. I’d be riddled with guilt and start to question my relationships with other family members. Am I too self-absorbed? Are there other relatives I haven’t checked up on in a while? To make up for being a slack cousin, I’d want to make amends with other relatives who teeter on the edge of my Christmas card list.

2. Avoid blood wars

We’d like to think that if a relative passes a way, the rest of the family rallies together in group hugs, bound by grief in mutual support, each member taking in turns to pour cups of solace-slashing tea.

In reality death and inheritance dilemmas can tear families apart in bitter clashes. As Stephen J. Hendlin, author of ‘The Inheritance Taboo’ points out, some people see a relative’s will as a ‘final report card’; a closing and sometimes damning summary of what the deceased thought of them versus their siblings and cousins. Personal hurt combined with the grieving process and bitterness about an ‘unfair’ division of the estate can kick off huge family crises. For Dr Blume and Dr Ginger death and estate battles make relatives regress back to earlier states. Family members start to replay unresolved conflicts with each other from childhood and jealousy or resentment issues get blown up and intensified.

Now I’m not sure how large cousin Bertha’s estate is, but I’d imagine by the fact that I’ve been given $1m having never known this woman, there are going to be plenty of people who could feel pretty hard done by here. To avoid family divisions and messy litigation, I’d try to be open and empathetic with my family and Bertha’s friends, steering clear of falling headlong into age old arguments with my sisters. ‘You-cut-up-my-favourite-jeans-for-an-art-project-gate’ was bad enough first time round.

3. Be frank Feel all kinds of guilty

The sore subject behind the holiday spat. Now I’m twenty four and I’ve never ‘travelled’. Now by my most of my friends’ (and my boyfriend’s) reckoning this makes me some kind of freak. Apparently you’re undeserving of the ‘Gen Y’ label unless you own a battered leather wrist band crafted by a blind Nepalese man or you’ve drifted down rivers in Laos clad in a bikini, wedged in a rubber ring cradling a beer. Now I’d love to ride elephants in Chiang Mai and cycle the Death Road in La Paz but I’d definitely do my career some seriously irrevocable damage by upping and leaving at this stage in the game.

For Hendlin, avoiding the ‘conspiracy of silence’ is incredibly important in steering clear of inheritance disputes. To get over the ‘denial’ and ‘anger’ elements of the Kübler-Ross stages of grief, Hendlin believes heirs need to be insightful and open about their thoughts and values around the inheritance. I couldn’t agree more. Whilst you can guarantee I’d book tickets for the Inca Trail straight away, I won’t be leaving my job to go and do it. There’ll be some great nights out on me, but my girlfriends and I won’t be sipping cocktails in Mayfair. I’ll treat my sisters to a shopping spree, but we won’t be venturing far from our usual high street haunts. Most of the money will get wrapped up in ‘sensible’ things; a flat which I’d rent out and low risk bonds. I definitely wouldn’t want to lose sight of what’s important to me now and I’d want to communicate that to my friends and family so I’m not toying with their expectations.

Have you experienced any inheritance dilemmas? What would you do if you inherited $1m? For a round-up of inheritance spending ideas, head over to Yes I Am Cheap this Friday!

{Photo: Images of Money}