Want to hear something interesting (and sad)?  Apparently the credit crunch is causing a flurry of divorce enquiries in the UK.

According to the London Paper on Friday:

‘As the UK edges close to recession, the number of divorce inquiries has rocketed. Rich spouses are keen to finalise deals while the value of their assets are low, while lower-income partners want to strike before their other half’s assets drop even further. Caroline Gordon-Smith of Stevens & Bolton solicitors, from the heart of the “stockbroker belt” in Guildford, Surrey, said she has seen a 50 per cent increase in inquiries in the last week.’

According to the experts, money and sex are the two biggest causes of unhappiness in marriage, so I guess the credit crunch is making a lot more people a lot more worried about money than usual. Add to that the stress and feelings of inadequacy that may result from being made redundant, or the enormous pressure of facing repossession and it’s not hard to understand why a lot of couples want to throw in the towel at this point.

I’m no marriage counsellor, but I did a little bit of research, and came up with the following tips for couples who are feeling that financial pressures are building up to breaking point:

Keep talking
Communication is the key to a happy, healthy relationship in the first place, so when there is added pressure, it’s important to keep talking. Don’t let resentment or anger build up until it results in an argument. That solves nothing and only exacerbates the problem. Make time to talk to each other about your worries.  If your partner has been made redundant encourage them to talk about it – they may be feeling inadequate, or that they have let you down. Be encouraging and positive about the future, and try to look at this as an opportunity rather than a problem.

Make a plan
Create a plan of action that involves you both equally. If one of you has been made redundant, or you are behind in your mortgage payments, you need to pull together to get financially healthy again. Cut your outgoings as much as possible, but remember that compromise is key – if your husband has been made redundant, you both need to make cutbacks in your spending, not just him, and vice versa. Don’t expect him to cut out his weekly trip to the pub with his mates if you’re still getting weekly manicures and lunches out.

Spend more time together
With less money to spend on entertainment you’ll probably find yourselves spending a lot more time together. This can be a good thing! Be inventive and creative and find new ways to have a good time together for free. One very simple and completely free activity springs to mind

Be honest with each other
Now is not the time to be buying clothes and hiding them in the back of your closet so your husband doesn’t notice. If your finances are largely separate, come clean with all your spending habits and debts now so that you both know exactly where you stand.  Financial deception is still deception, and keeping things from your other half at this stage is pointless and will only create further problems down the line.

Use your redundancy package wisely
If one of you has been made redundant, now is not the time to upgrade your car with the payout. You don’t know how long it will be before you find new work, so put that money to good use! Try to avoid using it unless absolutely necessary; if all your bills are up to date, stash the money in an emergency fund so that you have something to fall back on later on if need be.

Share the burden
In many couples one person takes sole responsibility for the finances – paying bills, etc. If you are going through a rough time, financially, share the burden between you a little more fairly. It can be a huge source of stress and pressure for the person wholly responsible for managing the money, especially if some bad financial decisions in the past have led to the current problem. Managing things together will help both of you feel involved in the solution, rather than leaving one person free to point the finger later on if things get worse.

Most of all, I think the important thing to remember is that you and your partner are a team. No matter what problems led to your current financial difficulty, there’s no point in focusing on them at this point by laying blame or being resentful.  The important thing is to focus on the things you can do now and in the future in order to survive the bumpy times as a family.  It might actually bring you closer. Don’t get preoccupied with the disappointments – so your five year plan is now looking like a 7 or 8 year plan. Make a new plan. It’s not the end of the world if you keep positive.

Have you found the credit crunch having a positive or negative impact on your relationship?