I got a phone call on Sunday afternoon from a friend in tears.  After a few minutes of wailing in my ear, I finally managed to get the problem out of her. She had been about to go and do her shopping for the week, but after checking her bank balance online, she’d discovered that an unexpected (read: forgotten) bill had chewed up the last of her cash until payday, which was still over a week away.

Not only was she now unable to get groceries for the week, she couldn’t attend the birthday drinks of a friend on Friday evening, as she was now flat broke, and feeling like a prize idiot. Worse than broke, actually, as she was at the end of her overdraft and her credit cards were fully maxed-out and she didn’t dare call her parents for help again, as their ‘loans’ came with a half hour lecture on managing her money better.

At this point I started to feel ever so slightly uncomfortable. Here was a good friend, who I knew was terrible at managing money, and it felt like she was fishing for a loan. I didn’t know whether she really was after a loan – she may have just been venting her frustrations.  Long story short: before I could think better of it, I told her to meet me at the supermarket in an hour and I would buy her some groceries so that she wouldn’t starve for the week. 

A couple of hours later, I waved goodbye to her as she walked off home with three bulging shopping bags. She promised to pay me back when she got paid, but I told her not to worry about it. It didn’t break the bank or cause me any financial hardship to pay for her shopping, and I knew that if it was the other way around one day (although hopefully it won’t be!), she would probably do the same for me. 

As I walked home though, I did start to feel a little bit annoyed – mainly because I knew that she had maxed out her credit card a couple of weeks ago booking a package holiday to Spain.  Not that it’s for anyone else to judge how another person spends their money,  but I felt that I could understand why her parents gave her that lecture every time she needed to borrow money. 

Even though I feel like I have got my act together regarding my finances in the last year, I never talk about it with my friends – I prefer to write about it for those who are actually interested.  A few years ago, my situation was very close to that of my friend, and if I had needed to borrow money it would have been awful to have to receive an earful of unwanted advice in the process. 

I feel a little bit guilty for these judgemental thoughts though, and it’s been playing on my mind all week.  Do you ever give your friends or family members financial advice?  Does it irritate you when people around you don’t take any steps to improve their financial health because they know there will always be someone else to rely on and pick up the pieces? Did I do the wrong thing by being that ‘someone’ for her this time around?

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