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I read an article this morning written by Cosmo Landesman, a 52 year old man who had recently moved back home with his elderly parents thanks to the unhappy impact his divorce, and the credit crunch, has had on his finances.
I have two friends, both in their mid-late 20s, who moved back into their respective family homes within the last year. One was unable to deal with constant dust and mess while her house was being renovated; the other had to go home for the two-month period between selling her house and being able to move into the new one. Both went slowly mad in the process.
In those two particular cases, both of my friends had an end-point, and were moving home as a practical measure, rather than for financial reasons alone. The lack of rent and the free laundry service was nice too, so was coming home to a lovely dinner every evening after a long day at work. However, both of them couldn’t wait to get out, almost solely due to the emotional strain of living in close quarters with two people to whom they would forever be a child that needed looking after.
However, Cosmo Landesman was moving home for purely financial reasons, and made himself feel better about his feelings of inadequacy about having to do so by claiming that:
“Lots of people – rich and poor – are doing it. Look at Richard Branson’s son Sam: he still lives in the family mansion in Oxfordshire. And the singer Leona Lewis was still living at home when she had a No 1 hit in America”.
[Except those people are young – not 52 years old - and if my dad had a mansion in Oxfordshire I’d probably be off to live there in a shot].
I know this guy was in serious financial difficulty, but I just feel that there is something a little bit morally wrong about moving home with your parents in order to save money. I know that lots of PF bloggers have done the same thing, as I read about it quite often on other blogs. I don’t think I could do it, mainly because my family home is on the other side of the world, so the commute would be a bitch. However, FruGuy’s parents live nearby, and I’m sure we would be welcome there if we ever felt the need to cut our expenses and save money on rent for a few months.
But even then, I don’t think I could bring myself to actually do it, mainly because no matter how much rent I paid them, and how much of the housework and cooking I took care of, I’d always feel like it was an imposition, no matter how welcome they made me feel. No ones’ parents are never going to admit that they’d rather not see their offspring every single day – we don’t want to think that our parents are as glad to see us move out in our 20s as we are to go. They have their own lives. Also, surely my parents gave up enough of their lives to financially support me the first time around, I don’t think I could bring myself to ask them to do it again.
But maybe I’d feel differently if I was seriously up against it and was experiencing real financial difficulty. What do you think? Could you move home again for financial reasons?
19 Responses for "Would you ever move back home to save cash?"
I think I would go back home to pay off debts / save etc. I’d probably spend a lot of time out and would only do it if I were single I think.
Not a situation I could do for a lengthy period of time thou.
Funny you should ask that. With the financial market in such turmoil right now, I started becoming REALLY concerned that I may not be able to find a job after I get laid off. I wondered whether I should put my stuff in storage and move in with my parents until I found a new job so that I won’t have to tap as much into my EF. But after considerable mulling, I decided I’d rather exhaust my severance and EF before I take that step for the very reasons you mentioned. There’s something to be said about maintaining our pride of self-sufficiency and independence in adulthood.
We didn’t move into my father-in-laws home for financial reasons but because we were moving from Colorado to Georgia. We did not have the opportunity to come out here to Georgia prior to the big move, so moving into the Father-In-Laws was just about the only option.
We stayed there for 5 weeks. My Father-In-Law is very, how should I put it, anal? And with two children under the age of 3, you have to throw your nit-picks out the door. He wasn’t willing. We moved out and we all get along great.
Don’t get me wrong, we were paying him rent, paying utilities and all the normal bills so we weren’t living off of his income. We were just living in his house. Personally, I would never do it again, not even with my Parents.
Now? No way. If I could I’d be there in a second – but my boyfriend and I would never survive living with my parents or his. We need our space and alone time too much for that to work out.
I tried it for six months a few years back while I was trying to afford plane tickets every three months – it helped, but was challenging since my parents live outside of the city. Bussing in to work and school took me over an hour. Also, I had changed too much. I love my parents, but I don’t have the patience that I used to.
I don’t think I’d feel bad about moving in with my parents. Of course, I think my parents would really like it since they are now empty nesters. I would make sure to pay them rent/cook/clean so that I wasn’t being a mooch.
I suspect it depends on the family & on your reason for moving back. Obviously someone moving back to be frugal is going to feel more positive about the whole thing than someone moving back because of financial trouble.
I’d probably be OK with moving back in with my parents for a few months. Yes, my mother might drive me a bit mad, but ultimately the benefits outweigh enduring her endless chatter. However, I can’t think of a situation that would have me consider moving in with the fiance’s parents, though…
Hi there-I could only do this in a short term emergency situation, not purely for financial reasons!!
FruGal I swear you are in my head! I was discussing this very thing on the bus this morning!
My parents live about 30 mile away on a farm in the middle of nowhere and when I lived there I was miserable and hated it because I had nothing to do. Now though, I love visiting them because it’s so remote, I can go for great walks/runs/bike rides, they have a home cinema and I usually get to spend some quality time with my folks (and usually end up cooking for them, not vice versa!)
Since I saw those allotments on Saturday I’ve been obsessed with the thought of moving out there for a few months and just doing gardening all day. I’d be able to save a fortune! The thing is though, I wouldn’t be able to get a decent job out there, so I wouldn’t be earning as much money to squirrel away! Bit of a catch 22 then.
I think I could do it for a while though, I get on pretty well with my parents and their place is so big that I can always disappear for a few hours if we got on each others nerves!
oh hell yeah! if my ‘rents were in the same are i’d do it in a heart beat
but good luck convincing the wifie, there’s no way she’d do it
although i do joke about moving in with hers every now and then to see what she says! haha…when we were dating we basically lived there for 2 months and it was awesome.
but i shall keep those ideas at bay so i don’t get my hopes up…and for now, i just try and remember i’ll be a millionaire soon and can do as i please
I’m sure my parents would have me, but I don’t think I could unless I was truly desperate. Like homeless desperate. I have to admit that unless you’re actually helping out your parents (like, they can’t manage on their own due to illness) I think that at 52 you should be beyond needing to live at home.
Fortunately this option isn’t available to me, as my mum has turned my old bedroom into her dressing room! Bloomin cheek.
If I was single, I would move in with my mom without a doubt. However, with it being my boyfriend and I, it just wouldn’t be possible. We had a long period where we stayed with his parents and I could not do it again. The complete loss of independence drove me nuts. From not having a say in what to eat (seriously. even when we bought our own food instead of contributing to their groceries our food would disappear within a day or two) to doing their laundry just to be able to use the washer and dryer for our own. It’s just not a situation I could handle anymore, regardless of what was going on.
This is a bit of a strange one when you look at it, I think.
There seems to be a relatively new, all-pervading mentality when it comes to the idea of living with one’s parents in our culture. In other cultures, and historically, it would be considered unusual to move out of home to live by yourself. In a lot of European cultures when a man gets married, his new wife moves into his family home and lives there with her new husband’s parents, and potentially his siblings and their families…so why is it that we’re all so against the concept (and I definitely include myself in the group of people who are against it)? Is it that we’re hungry for independence and not particularly family oriented? Especially when the financial benefits are so obvious…
I’ve been told I’m welcome to come back if I choose to go back to school. Dunno if I’d take them up on it. I moved back in for 6 months after I graduated and it wasn’t all sunshine and roses.
I’m also curious why everyone is so quick to latch on to the image of the loser living in his/her parent’s basement. What about overspent boomers who need a child to move back in to help them make the mortgage payment every month after the ARM adjusted? That’s another question, and a good one. Even if it meant a bad situation for you, the 20-30-40something child, would you move back in if the tables were turned and your parents needed help?
That is a tough one!
Moving back home would be hard. I honestly don’t want to be treated like a sixteen year old again.
That said, if my financial situation was in dire straits and it was the only option opened to me then I would be foolish not to take it. Like your friends I would have to have a leaving date.
Deperate times require desperate measures.
[...] FruGal’s Would you ever move back home to save cash? [...]
I am planning on moving back with parents to get out of debt. I will have to borrow moving expenses to get there, but could be debt free in less than 2 years. In these tough times where larger downpayments will be needed, I will be able to bankrolll in no time. Establish boundaries and staying out of each others way can be worked out. Do I want to leave warm weather for cold weather, no. Do I want to be totally debt free with a bankroll, ah yeah, I really do. I could struggle for years and never get off the merrygoround, or suck it up and do what I have to, to get this debt monkey off my back.
Wow, I actually DID move back in with my parents eight years ago. I had moved to North Carolina from Washington state for a job – my company paid my expenses. I stayed for a year and decided to move back to Washington (too many reasons to list here) – and again my company paid for it. However, due to a horrible roommate I was totally broke when I moved back so stayed with my parents for eight months. I found a job really quickly, paid off most of my debt and moved out.
After that experience I would NEVER move back in with them unless CLEAR BOUNDARIES were established (a 29 year old woman does NOT need a curfew). I didn’t comply but that was a big deal to the parents among other things.
Now I have a husband and two bonus (read step) kids and I feel that would be an incredible imposition. I would have to be desperate and looking at living in my car to take them up on that offer.
I would NEVER live with my in laws either. My MIL is completely narcissistic, over bearing and a control freak.
[...] Would you ever move back home to save cash? [...]
That’s a no brainer, I would DEFINITELY move home to conserve on rent and food. IF you’re hurting, that’s what your family is there for, support!
Best,
FS
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