Relationships and money: what do you do?
- Author: FruGal
- Filed under: Household expenses, budgeting, savings
Dec 10,2009
Some very interesting research caught my eye this morning, which gave a quick snapshot into the private world of couples and their money habits:
- Only one third of couples have a joint bank account
- 32% of couples have a joint credit card
- 36% of couples have a joint savings account
- 21% of couples keep all their money in their own name
- More than 50% of couples argue about money regularly
- One in seven people believe their partner lives beyond their means
Interesting, yes?
It seems like more and more people are keeping their finances separate to a large extent, even after marriage.
It makes a certain amount of sense, especially as people are getting married later in life, which means they are bringing more financial baggage into a marriage – like significant savings or assets, as well as kids from previous marriages and maybe even student or personal debt.
FruGuy and I have certainly kept our personal bank accounts since getting married. Not for any of the above reasons, mainly just because we prefer to keep a little bit of independence when it comes to how we spend our cash. (Read: I don’t really want him to know how much I spend on shoes, and he doesn’t want me to know how much he spends on… I don’t know, sports and booze and gadgets and stuff).
We do have a joint account that we each pay into for rent, food, bills and household expenses, but other than that, we like our independence.
Are you surprised that only one third of couples combine their finances? What works for you and your other half?
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16 Responses for "Relationships and money: what do you do?"
We have everything combined. I couldn’t imagine separating it. We actually don’t have any secret spending. I know because I check the account balance frequently. That being said, I’m not totally surprised that others do it differently. A lack of financial accountability is probably a huge reason why the US has such a bad economy right now.
Right now we have everything separate except for one joint checking account. Eventually I think we’ll combine savings accounts, but I definitely want to keep our own personal spending accounts. I’m with you – I don’t want Chad to know how much I spend on shoes, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to hear me screeching every time he goes out to lunch or buys special sports packages.
Combining savings, though, jsut seems to make sense. A lot of our big goals will be joint expenditures (e.g. buying a house), and I guess I’m not really worried about having to split that down the middle if we decide to split.
We do the same as you, pretty much – joint account for rent and bills (which has too much put in every month so we can pay for holidays etc every now and again from it) and everything else is separate. We talk about money and how much there is, but we both still have the view of “It’s MY money!”
And it means she can blow money on shoes up to her guilt level, and I can shove money into shares without being called irresponsible…
[...] Relationships and money: what do you do? – FruGal (tags: relationships, money management) [...]
Such a tricky subject… We have everything 100% together, and have since moving in together. I see benefits and flaws to this way of doing things. The benefit is that we really have to communicate regularly about money, or things go nuts. The downside is that we have to communicate regularly about money, or things go nuts. Sometimes I would love to NOT talk about money (although DH would claim its my favourite subject for discussion) but it really isn’t an option. I guess the grass is always greener…
We have separate and joint — though “my” checking account is really the household one. I guess it works — I’m the one who tracks everything and my husband is bad at it. I DO firmly believe that every person should have money to spend as he/she wants. It doesn’t have to lead to debt — but you should get to splurge on stuff within “reason,” and everyone defines “reason” their own way. We don’t have much debt, I’m happy to say, but I’m looking to spend less, because of salary cuts and really, a fear of what’s going to happen next year. I’m self-employed and clients are cutting back. But expenses (especially those for the 2 in college) are not being cut, obviously. So I’m going through all kinds of interesting sites and books looking for advice. Big favorite: “Debt-Free Millionaire,” by Anthony Manganiello. In addition to the plan he has for getting you out of debt and on firm financial footing, there’s all kinds of interesting snippets. For example — if you’re in debt, you could be paying taxes at a higher tax bracket than you should be. Who knew? Not me. I need info like that.
Def. interesting! We have combined accounts ourselves, and then separate accounts too for “do whatever you like” with money
And out of the 3 years living together so far (and 1 year married), we’ve argued about money 0 times…unless you count me trying to get her excited about money arguing? haha…
Enjoyed this post.
I had joint finances with my ex simply because that’s how I thought it was done – I wish I’d realised there were many different ways of doing finances and you had to find the one for you, because he ended up leaving me with 20 thousand pounds of debt when he left. If it’d been all in his name I wouldn’t have been liable for it, though I didn’t know that at the time.
However, with my husband we’ve done joint finances again and it works. Originally when we moved in together we kept everything separate except for a joint card for household expenses like groceries and petrol – he paid the rent and I paid everything else. Now, we’ve been together long enough and trust each other enough that everything is joint, except that he has a separate account and credit card for his personal spending (for the same reasons you say above).
I really wish I’d not just blindly done what I thought you did with my ex so it makes me happy to see people being careful. It does surprise me when people keep the big things, like savings for retirement etc, separate — shouldn’t you plan a future together? What if your partner doesn’t save enough, are you going to let them starve? But again, it works for them and is probably wise in these days.
I think it is easier to keep money separate when you don’t have children, we did. But when kids came on the scene the “this is what you pay for, this is what I pay for” seemed to not work anymore. I felt as though I was always spending “my money” on the kids and he was still getting to waste his on stuff he wanted. So now everything is in one large pot. Yes there are the occassional arguements about what one of spent money on but for the most part we are both pretty good at agreeing what amount is okay to just blow on whatever we want.
We have always combined everything into one joint account, although I do have my own seperate account which I’ve kept from my student days. I don’t really use though.
It works for us – was great when I was on mat leave or at home with kids also, never had to ask for money which I wouldn’t like.
All decisions around money are joint. There have been some moments – like my Boden Sale issues and his mountain biking trip funding, but when its all joint you have to be honest and move forward rather than keeping it a dark secret that just gets bigger and bigger………..
to answer your question, i am not surprised that so many couples dont have joint accounts. While i think that couples have to be open and truthful with their finances, there should be a level of freedom. i prefer having a joint account with the wife and each one of us have separate accounts so that we both can have a little fun without each and every expense passing through thorough scutiny
I wanted to agree with Lisa about it being easier before you have kids! That’s certainly been our experience as well. For one thing, you have fewer expenses, which means you have more cash. It’s really a sticky wicket, or certainly can be.
Wanted to provide a better link for the “Debt-Free Millionaire” book, in case anyone wanted to take a look. Website is http://www.therealcashflowceo.com/ (or http://www.therealcashflowceo.com/). Great tips for everyone looking to get out of debt and not be a slave to dollars.
My husband and I just celebrated our 10 year anniversary. From a week or so after we got married we have had a joint checking account, joint savings account, joint credit cards, and no separate accounts. We also argued about money. We are now credit card free, and no longer argue about money (very often anyway).
My partner and I area still struggling to determine the best system. We have our own bank accounts and a joint credit card, but its not working. He dropped out of university to become a chef and I went back to school to get a second degree as I was unhappy with my job opportunities. Despite not having a job it’s still on me to control the finances and when he is under, I have to make the difference out of my savings. He’s terrible with money, is carrying a significant debt load, doesn’t make much money at his job and has not managed to save a single dollar in the past year. Nor has he filed his taxes in two years!
I’m trying to convince him to give me full reign over the finances, where we mutually agree on his budget but I am the only once with access to the accounts, providing him with monthly statements. Even though he has agreed to this theoretically, we’ve yet to manage it practically. But I’m moving ove seas to do a masters next fall and if I don’t get him saving money I have to leave him behind.
Well… Me and my partner have separate accounts but I basically look after his accounts anyways I don’t think it’s much different from having a joint account. We don’t have much of this you pay for this and I pay for that happening. But I agree… Having some levels of freedom is good. I wouldn’t want him to know how much I spent on shoes during the last boxing day sales!!!
Hi, can anyone help?!
I have been with my partner for four years, we are not married. we are now separating and will need to sell our house and split the money which is fine. However, I really need to find out if my ex can try to get some of my personal savings, which is in my name and is completly my own money with no input from him? please any advice would be grafefully received!
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