Mans seem to be hard-wired to indulge their basest desires and can’t help but give in to temptation. But which are the truly sin-sational nations when it comes to bad behaviour? All is revealed in this International Sindex.Dive in to a world of depravity
What better measure of our inability to deny our carnal urges can there be than the money we spend consummating our desire for the rut and thrust of paid-for loveless sex?
Although Switzerland is coming up fast on their rear, sleazy Spain is leading the field to the happy finish line. We only hope that if they can’t keep it in their pants then they are at least bagging it up and playing safe.
The number of free condoms handed out to sex workers in New York City each year
|Rank||Country||Per capita expenditure on prostitution|
Lust is to the other passions what the nervous fluid is to life; it supports them all, lends strength to them all.
Marquis de Sade
Watch out! There’s a green-eyed monster stealing a peek over the fence. Burglary, robbery and theft rates give us an insight into the nations struggling to keep their hands off their neighbours’ ass... or flat-screen TV.
Belgium, the country that gave us roller skates, saxophones and the Smurfs is most likely to break in and steal them back when you’re out. And you’d better make sure you lock your doors and windows if you don’t want New Zealand or Denmark making off with your jewellery.
The value of the jewels stolen by Jack ‘Supertheif’ MacLean'
|Rank||Country||Thefts, robberies and burglaries per 100,000 population|
|8||England & Wales||1,338|
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope
Taking care of your appearance is fine, but you cross a line when you’re prepared to put yourself under the knife to alter your looks. As a measure of a country’s self-mutilating self-obsession we’ve taken the number of people that share each plastic surgeon.
Topping the nip-and-tuck table in true Gangnam-style is South Korea – putting its money where its mouth is (and where its nose used to be) to support the highest concentration of plastic surgeons. The quest for the perfect butt has lifted Brazil up the rankings, but it has some work to do before it’s ready for the top spot.
Proportion of South Korean women under 30 who have had plastic surgery
|Rank||Country||No. of people per plastic surgeon|
Pride, the never-failing vice of fools
The Gini coefficient of wealth distribution is a measure of statistical dispersion intended to represent the income distribution of a nation’s residents, and is the most commonly used measure of inequality.
What’s mine is mine and what’s your’s is mine is probably the mantra chanted by greedy Zimbabwe as it lines its own pockets to claim the top spot. Denmark isn’t keen to ‘lego’ of its share and manages to stay one step ahead of the grasping hands of Switzerland.
Personal wealth of President Robert Mugabe – 21% of Zimbabwe’s GDP
|Rank||Country||Gini coefficient of wealth|
|6||Central African Republic||0.782|
Greed is the lack of confidence in one’s own ability to create
Our inability to eat in moderation is reflected in our ever-expanding waistlines. We looked at the proportion of the population that is obese to find out who’s been eating all the pies.
Egypt was the surprise champion of the heavyweight world although wobbling along close behind them in their XXXL elasticated-waist joggers are joint second-place fatties USA and Saudi Arabia.
The weight of excess skin removed in an operation on one-time Ipswich postman and former world’s fattest man Paul Mason.
|Rank||Country||% population that is obese|
|5||United Arab Emirates||32.7|
Gluttony is not a secret vice
To find out who’s most likely to lose it when the red mist descends we asked a policeman: “How many assaults are reported per 100,000 of the population where you work?”
And we found that, like Begbie in a bar brawl, angry Scotland is punching well above its weight. It’s stood on top of the league table with a broken Buckfast bottle clutched in one bloodied fist shouting at Sweden and England through a mouth full of deep fried Mars bar: "Wha tha fook are ye lookin’ aht. D’ye wan some?
Number of wins (in 69 fights) by Edinburger and lightweight champion of the world Ken ‘The flying Carpenter’ Buchanan
|Rank||Country||Assaults reported per 100,000|
Men often make up in wrath what they want in reason
William R Alger
How much effort does it take to make a meal? Well apparently too much for many of us and our laziness and inability to get up off our fat arses and cook something for ourselves now props up a vast fast food industry.
Surprise suppertime slacker is Iceland which manages to beat Chow-Mein-chomping England even without the help of McDonalds. But slouching at the top of the table loosening its belt a notch, throwing its bone into a greasy box and belching contentedly is kitchen-dodging king the USA.
Average number of takeaways enjoyed by each resident of Coventry in a year – that’s three a week.†
|Rank||Country||Number of fast food outlets per 100,000 people|
It’s only mental sloth I object to. Physical sloth can be heavenly.
We’ve sin-gled out the countries that revel in their vices, but now we come to crown our World Champion of Wickedness. With points awarded for each placing in the seven deadly sins top ten tables above, the International Sindex reveals the nations most likely to be feeling the heat from the fires of hell.
A sense of humour keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins... save those worth committing.