I really, really love a wedding. As former wedding editor for a national newspaper, I’m all over weddings like cheap confetti. Yet there’s always a recurring problem that I’m asked about over and over again: couples making the guests cost too much money.
Weddings are an expensive business, but I’m pretty sure that’s because of disgruntled guests paying for hotels, flights abroad for hen parties and your ‘nothing under sixty quid’ John Lewis guest list. If you have a massive wedding budget, we’re very happy for you (really, everyone likes bubbly and a nice dinner instead of Iceland sausage rolls). Your guests won’t always be mega-rich and if you make them spend all of their money, they’re going to hate you. Here are some things that your wedding guests hate.
1. Weekends away
If you’re mega close to a handful of people, invite them on a weekend away. If not, don’t expect your friend’s sister who you met once and drunkenly invited to fork out hundreds to go to Prague. Flights, hotel, drinks, dinner. This is for your closest friends only. No exceptions.
2. Countryside weddings
This needs to stop. The vintage and British wedding trends mean that everyone and their cat is getting hitched in a countryside mansion. In the middle of nowhere. Miles away from a cheap hotel. Getting there costs loads, finding a taxi from a countryside train station is impossible and the room in a boutique B&B will be a few hundred quid and your guests will hardly spend any time there. If you’re going down this option, think about your guests – book mini buses to the cheapest hotels, make sure the hotels are actually cheap, give them travel advice (not everyone drives). Help your guests, otherwise your wedding will just ‘happen’ to fall on a family birthday and they’ll decline.
3. The wedding list
We love you, honestly. We spent twenty quid on your engagement gift. We’re wearing a fabulous hat that cost more than our dress (and the dress cost more than our rent). Quit it with the expensive gift lists. Otherwise you’ll get nothing but sulky faces.
The exception to the rule:
You can do all of these things if you give us a free bar. All night. Not just crap wine. If we’re spending hundreds on your big day (seriously, congratulations), give us a little back.
{Image: Vincent Van Der Pas}
